pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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