Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
