Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
