so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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