ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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