I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I want a musical about memes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
