So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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