Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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