I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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