i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
