you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
