Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
