Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
