Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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