alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
