so explain again why im purple
no
I could make wine with my vomit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
