our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
