You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I FOUND THE LEGS
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
