I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He passed out mid-signature
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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