wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
