By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
