Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
