I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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