man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
