Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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