Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
