Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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