I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
