I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Im part way to drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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