Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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