Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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