oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
