would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
