I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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