there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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