He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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