Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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