I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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