You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
