you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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