Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
