Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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