For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
