I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
