yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
