I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're like the curious george of whores
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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