K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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