no, he came in my armpit
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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