What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
