i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
