let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
