I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
