I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
