So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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